#... and now it seems to be back a little bit

[humming-fly]

I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever

[lightgamble]

DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN | 1.09

Hey, this is it.

[laurrelise]

quick question because i’m curious:

[hiding-under-the-willow]

For the record, I started outlining the Ghosts AU fic today, splitting up 'episode' ideas into like seasonal arcs and such, fleshing out some of the little ideas that have been discussed around here into actual pieces of the timeline. Very exciting 🎉 it'll be sick as fuck if I ever get any free time to actually write it with 💀

[viperwhispered]

Too Hard

Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.

The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.

What a stupid thought to have because of you.

Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.

So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.

“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.

Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.

On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.

Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”

Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.

His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.

Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.

After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.

If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.

The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!

For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.

After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.

Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.

Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?

Could you possibly-

Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.

He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-

Jamil froze in his tracks.

The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.

Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.

Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.

Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.

Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?

Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.

What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?

Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.

He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.

Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.

“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.

“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.

As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.

And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.

Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.

All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.

“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.

Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.

Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?

Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.

Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.

“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.

Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.

“Hmm. Maybe he will.”

Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?

Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.

How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?

“You know-”

“So-”

You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.

Even your surprised look was so-

“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.

“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.

“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”

He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.

“No. It is not.”

You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.

Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?

“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.

“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.

Wait.

Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?

The thought twisted his stomach into knots.

Eta: you can find part 3 here, part 4 here, and finally part 5 here. Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)

[rosykims]

thinking about how that solavellan ending actually Works for lavellans who want that hopeful ending but arent as forgiving abt the whole situation as veilguard presented it. and i do think in ashara's case, yes, she goes with him out of love, but more so out of duty. post trespasser she drops the name lavellan in favor of her family name, dhavise, since her place in the clan had already been cast into question and her allegiances with the chantry/solas are cause for doubt as to whether she's even welcome back anymore. but i think by the end of veilguard she's reaffirmed her identity as Lavellan no matter what, and truly does see herself as the Keeper of not just her own clan but of her whole modern people, and with that rekindled purpose she chooses to watch over them all by way of watching over fen'harel. protecting them by protecting him from himself. which ironically is the reason the dalish HAVE keepers in the first place

[ganondoodle]

(zelda comic rough draft)

im still unable to draw anything ... except for really slowly getting the chapter 2 rough draft further for some reason, another screenshot from page 59

[kickedin17]

So I've been privately quite resistant to the theory/read that clancy is being possessed through all of this and that's why he's acting the way he is. I've been ruminating on it more & I pinned down that the reason for that, the thing for me, is like. This album cycle so far has effectively served as reclamation for clancy - of his name, his life, the people and things that matter to him. Lyrically the album details a person resisting the urge to fall back into old harmful habits and isolate himself, which clancy does (with at least some self-awareness) by "overcompensating." We knew from the start of this era he was willing to do whatever it took to remain himself and to take down dema and end the cycle.

Obviously we still don't know exactly what happened after the end of the paladin mv. In my opinion we also don't know what Exactly last night meant either other than that clancy has drifted somewhere dangerous and maybe irretrievable (though I highly doubt that), and that he simultaneously seems to be crying out for help. Maybe all that means he has been seized this entire time or is dead already or whatever whatever. In My Opinion though, I think it's just the less logical conclusion to jump to because what does that leave us exactly? A clancy who once again has been stripped of agency. A clancy who, once again, is defined almost entirely by the perceptions and movements of the bishops or the banditos or whoever else thinks they have claim over him and his name and his face and his message. For him to come out of the gates swinging so hard but ultimately end up in the same place he started is maybe *realistic* if we are talking about literal cycles of addiction or mental illness, but we've already been exploring that for the last 10 years on 3 albums prior to this, and that's not what clancy (album/era) has been doing or saying to me. This is a person who is fighting so hard not to repeat the cycle that they go too far. They self destruct. They know there are people waiting for them to be better and they're trying, but it's a big fucking ask, isn't it? It's so hard to find balance, if that's something you've never had before. It's so hard to get it right.

Outside of my personal clancy/blurryface dichotomy theory (which I think explains why his shirt is sometimes black - it's blurryface, not necessarily clancy being smeared (unless you assume those two states are one and the same which on a separate meta level they probably are but getting into that is going to add like 3 more paragraphs to this)) - I believe clancy has been himself, unequivocally, through this whole era so far. I believe last night he was cognizant and chose to push the torchbearer away, maybe because he lost trust in him due to paranoid self sabotage, maybe to try to protect him because clancy is also aware that he's on a crash course but cannot find the brakes anymore (the line). Maybe some combination of both.

Also worth noting - his letter about "absolute power" did not anywhere say that he wanted to be a bishop. It sounds more like he wants to be a king (of a kingdom swingin on a swing etc etc). Whatever he's trying to turn dema into I think it will be different, even if it's ultimately just as toxic. We know, and he knows, he can simply destroy it all (bandito/overcompensate), but that's also hard. It's so so hard. I don't know how many of us ever actually make it that far - I know I never have. I think that's probably what he went in intending to do but it doesn't seem like that's where we've actually ended up.

The cycle might repeat again, and maybe (my fingeys crossed) take us back to blurryface somehow for its 10th anniversary, but I think it's going to be different this time. We aren't going back to jumpsuit/the start of the trench era. We aren't going back to how things were during sai. These concerts were intended to be flashbacks, memories, "reminding us why we fight." Reminding clancy why he's doing what he's about to do. Which is different than whatever he's done before. Whether or not this "sounds like an ending" (it doesn't), I think this is something new. That doesn't mean it's something Good. But we don't quite know that yet, either.

In short and to try to make this probably incoherent post more coherent: To Me (and I could be wrong, I've been wrong before) it is still clancy, just like it was always clancy. Whatever he's going through and whatever he becomes are because of his own actions. Not the bishops, not the banditos, not torchbearer. Him. And isn't that so much more tragic? And so much more real?

[quibble-auk]

Some more pet portraits I made of my fish.

And then I made one of him when he was a baby. His spots didn’t grow with him. They were still on his body, they were just the same size as they were before so they are really small.

They don’t have backgrounds because those are hard.

[itsmistyeyedbi]

I've finally got the time and energy to carry on with the rewrite and I am... stuck.

I've reached the part where I need to make the kiss obvious now, Zuri can't skirt around it anymore. Not in her own head, at least💀

The problem is, the body language that Zuri and Bobby exhibit is important to the dialogue they exchange and the kiss (especially since I'm writing around the "unwanted kiss" version in the books, I'll go into detail about that a bit in the tags) but a full on flashback isn't going to work with the way I've already written this.

So... do I just keep the dialogue and leave the details out and up to imagination? Or do I keep them by having the memory be in italics and split up between her current thoughts + anything else happening around her?

[front-facing-pokemon]

[human-encounters-diary]

Day 16

As the human and I did not share any duties during this particular cycle, I decided now might be a fitting time to inform the Vitrichl about the aforementioned book, which could possibly grant a further insight into Terrans.

Despite the quite serious circumstances we are currently in, I was able to secure a time frame to initiate a conversation regarding this topic.

I repeated the information V-7 had been able to conjure on this as well as other stories and reports on humans.

"There seems to be one…obstacle, though: The book‘s last documented location is in system Skė-51-33, which does not seem to be even remotely near our current route.", I eludicated.

The Vitrichl seemed to consider the information given, keeping in mind the reason the SIIR Noxos usually avoids this particular system: its unfriendly and occasionally aggressive nature.

Concluding, I was able to convince the Vitrichl through the benefits this book could provide in the task of studying humans, causing the Vitrichl to eludicate that changing the route was currently not possible, but as soon as the chance was offered to us, we would make a short detour through this system to retrieve said book, given that the book was still located there.

In the meantime, I was tasked with retrieving as much possible information on this particular and other sources about humans.

Our arrival on Fendaar is imminent, as we are nearing the planet‘s atmosphere. Further reports will follow.

[merp-blerp]

Hamilton will be 10 years old next year…

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

listen I just can’t find fault with a candy person for finding something that unexpectedly brings them joy and doing everything in their power to make it keep happening. I just can’t find it in me to blame them for wanting the approval of the person they love and respect more than anyone else, and wanting that approval over and over again, and I just straight up can’t blame james for figuring out a trick to make his princess smile and call him her hero. like, banana guards get her praise and approval and hugs all the time, but he’s just some random engineer with an easy smile and no one who wants to hang out with him after work. and she likes him so much, she wants him in her kingdom, even when he goes and does something stupid like push her out of the way of a super dangerous not-moving car, at the cost of his own life, she wants him back and she’ll bring him back and she'll tell him that was very brave and she loves him. of course she loves him. she loves all the candy people. but he figured out how to make her look him in the eyes and say it and give him material evidence of her pride. I can’t find it in myself to blame him for that. it wasn't good, i don't think he should have been left unchecked to keep going forever, but i can't blame him for wanting to keep reliving the nice thing that happened once. the really nice thing that happened once that came with material gifts. if she didn’t want to keep doing it she would’ve stopped LONG before there were TWENTY FIVE of them. before she was so fed up that she didn’t even spare him a kind goodbye or a chance to go home one more time.

like you’re not beating the dystopian dictatorship allegations. saying she was right to exile him from the only home he’s ever known with no recourse because he was acting weird. and the thing is, I just can’t find it in me to blame a character living in a dictatorship for getting himself into a situation because he was desperately trying to be happy the best way he could figure out how. I’m not saying he was right, he’s insane, but it just rubs me wrong, the idea that he is the one holding all this heavy blame. the idea that the princess is right to look down at him and shake her head firmly and turn him out in the cold. for chasing the rush that she gave him willingly, over and over, without any specific end parameters. for not being able to make friends, and doing something weird about it. he’s bored and lonely and this works and it’s not, inherently, bad. it really isn’t. it’s batshit, but it’s actually not hurting anyone at all.

[nami-moittli]

I think you like Leah

…A little

[pickaropoprocks]

Day 93!! Happy Pride!!